Shallow-ween

Halloween is over thank God! I can’t stand people during that holiday. People kept asking me what I was going as finally I said..

“Well I’m going as a guy who has been wearing the same clothes for a week because he can’t afford to do laundry, doesn’t know how he’s gonna pay his rent and has a $800 cell phone bill. i would have went as my father but it was hard to find a woman who would let me get her pregnant as leave her the moment I found out.”

I ended up at a party in Williamsburg and the best part about that was its hard to tell who was wearing a costume and who is just from Williamsburg. Like they are really that cool. Are you some sort of superhero or do you normally just wear a cape? To exemplify, I complemented this one girl on her costume, turns out she was just Asian…and having a seizure. What she don’t know won’t hurt her.

That usually got pity and maybe a free drink. The pressure is on the women more so than men though. And no I’m not the first comic to observe this, but why the fuck does every costume have to be sexy? I mean it’s expected of all women now. Even if they don’t want to do it, they look like idiots if they aren’t showing flesh. I think some girl take it too far though. They cross the line.

I saw this girl who was very sexy. No, Miss Subways, but still a looker. She was wearing a light blue miniskirt with dark blue fishnets, a blue wig, and a shirt with the picture of an ocean wave on it. I asked what she was. “I’m a Tsexy Tsunami. I’ma drown you in my kisses.” That is offensive. And she was Asian. Double Whammy.

I saw another girl who I thought was a sexy black librarian. “I’m a sexy Rhosha Pharhks*. I refused to leave my seat because my anus was firmly nestled on a buttplug.” WHAT THE…? That is rude, disrespectful and not to mention a horrible way to portray someone who recently passed away and meant a lot to a lot of people. But she heard “What’s you number?” and gave it to me. I’ll play your little game. We’ll talk about this in a more intimate setting, Miss Missy.

*note: remove “h’s” for real name. Inserted those to avoid google searches where someone can find her name in the same sentence as anus and buttplug on my site

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