N’Yes Indeed (Also here)

The above title is to be said in the voice of an effeminate victorian-era butler who was just asked if the sugar was correctly placed into the tea. He said “N’Yes indeed!” sort of overdoing his happiness. Then he turned and walked away from the Contessa muttering the words “Bitch.”

Aaaaaand scene. Last night was my first show. I was pumped. I spent some time hanging out with a former flame/good friend of mine (haven’t met her husband yet, can’t wait to) at a festival kick off party. Then I walked over to the show. I was first on the Showcase 2 preview.

For the last few months, I’ve been having an interesting nervousness before performing. It starts with feeling no pressure, no fear, but the moment before I walk onstage I get electric butterflies being chased by a Sasquatch on a Vespa in my stomach.

All was good though because all the other comics were supportive (not to mention hilarious). When DeRay…er…um…MeHay was warming up the crowd I was behind the curtain going over my set list in my head. I don’t know why. This is material I know backward and forward. I went out and the crowd couldn’t have been better. Very receptive. I’m not sure if I killed, but I felt good about my set. I was just happy I didn’t vomit or feel sick (this morning fellow comic Neronica Tosey said she had a bad case of altitude sickness and felt nauseous). I’m just happy people listened. I’m just happy I didn’t have to do my backup material which consists of weeping, wiping my nose, talking incoherently, and eventually peeing my pants while running offstage. THAT would have been awkward!!
(cracks knuckles)

Whew!
(wipes sweat from brow. Baron then looks at the screen to survey his work. Accepting that its not gonna get any better, he clears his throats and clicks “send.” He then gets up from the computer and turns around to see himself in the mirror. He realizes has urinated on himself. He gives himself a knowing smile, shrugs, and walks out of the room.)

FIN

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