Eh – xistence

You ever wish you weren’t alive? Not in a way that means you want to kill yourself. Not dead. That’s why I use the words “not” and “alive.” It a more matter of fact feeling. A passing thought. “Boy, I wish I wasn’t alive…meh, back to the grocery list.”

Its a feeling like wishing that you didn’t exist. Again, I must stress that I don’t mean it in a negative or depressing way. Just in the way of not wanting to deal with things like money or work or creativity or existential dilemmas. See? Its a wish to not have existential dilemmas. Its the alternate ending to “Its a Wonderful Life” where George just says “Eh” and walks away.

Doo dee dah deedle dodo dada zwee bop skee do wah.

Thought I’d do a little type-scat for you. Imagine that along with an old Ella Fitzgerald hit.

It officially is cold here now. It snowed a little bit, but it just gonna get worse as the months go on. That’s the east coast for ya. 5 months of winter, 5 months of summer and fall and spring are a month each. A friend of mine in chicago told me its 1 degree there right now which is the coldest December they’ve had in a century. Every year the records of “hottest day” and “coldest day” are being broken. Sign the end is nigh? You make the call.

and now for stream of concious writing

many thought race threw my head as i open the flood gates of my mind lots of thing fall out of it mostly having to do with some random ass tv show. many popculture references in this al gore like lockbox that is my memory. Tv was my babysitter. Couldn’t have been a better sitter. She never yelled. Always let me decide what i wanted to do and never told my mom any of the things I did while she was gone. She also didn’t get mad when I would watch the old school Adam West “Batman” and re enact the fights in the living room while wearing little to no clothes at all. Dadadadadada BATMAN!! And then when all was said and done things would be normal by the time Mom got home. Ah the joys of being an only child. At least until I was 13 when my little sister was born. I remember being at home and waking up late for school and wondering why no one bothered to tell me. The house was empty. I got ready for school and walked on my way there and still i saw no people around my metropolis. I looked up at the sky and it looked like a cosmic Cookie Monster had taken a bite out of the sun (I later found out it was an eclipse-duh) “The world is about to end,” I thought, “and I was left behind.”

That was a little harder than i was expecting it to be. I obviously can’t type as fast as I can think. Especially when i go back to correct spelling and punctuation.

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