I came home last night (3am) to someone getting a blowjob on the stoop next to mine. It was not inconspicuous by any means. A man sitting on the stairs with a woman kneeling in front of him. His hands clasped around her bouncing head. I mean I am assuming here so I apologize.
My favorite part was when they saw me coming. The guy saw me coming and I guess he gestured to the woman to stop moving. Her head was still but they were still in the exact same position. Yes, that’s gonna fool me. That is what is gonna make me rethink the fact that you’re receiving fellatio in public. Her just keeping her head still.
“Oh my God!! Is that what I think it is. She is totally sucking his…wait a minute. Her head isn’t moving anymore. Hmm, well I guess I was wrong. They must just be playing Scattergories on the street. At 3am. With her head is his lap. Scattergories. Yeah.”
You’re not allowed to be embarrased once you’ve commited to that. That’s a brave thing to do. I mean you can’t just pause everytime someone walks by. Shove it in their face. I mean not literally. Don’t shove it in their face. I mean her face is already being shoved. I mean don’t apologize. Celebrate it. Cuz really you guys are oral sexing it up on the street! Wow. I’m coming home alone to my little room to blog about it. Yup, I feel fulfilled. Its a good thing tears are a great sleeping pill.