Archive for July, 2007

Snarky about being snarky. Sarcastic about being sarcastic.

Tuesday, July 17th, 2007

Guys isn’t it SO GREAT that we’ve become a culture that doesn’t know how to not be sarcastic all the time? Isn’t it SO GREAT that we choose to comment a little more than experience things? Cuz experiencing something means i have to like use all these senses i was given and that’s just like so exhausting. i mean that why i listen to my iPod everywhere i go so i don’t have to hear anything i don’t like. that’s why i wear my sunglass so i don’t have to see anything i don’t like. or at least it dulls it.

that’s why i’m so happy there are so many dumb people to talk about all the time. that way i don’t ever have to express a geniune emotion or original thought that I have. you can understand who I am by what i have to say about Angelina Jolie. She’s hot. See? Now you know a lot about me. Maybe even too much. That’s why i’m always gonna be awkward around you and like construct this persona that never let’s you in. cuz i’ve been hurt in the past. never again.

jeez. saying how i really feel about something is just SO EXHAUSTING. thank god i can be ironic. and thank god i’ll deliver it in the same monotone voice that i always communicate with. that way no one can ever say what they think i believe or don’t believe. so i can never be pegged for this or that. totally. i can have an identityless identity. awesome.

i mean caring is so BLAH. see? that’s all the description it deserves. hating everything makes the world so much easier to deal with. you’re dumb. he’s stupid. and its such a burden that i’m the only one who sees it. if anyone ever tries to talk to me about anything. i’ll just say WHATEVER and leave. then i don’t have to be responsible for anything. awesome.

Cujo Just Shat Himself

Friday, July 13th, 2007

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I could take her.

start from empty

Thursday, July 12th, 2007

(http://4 NULL.bp NULL.blogspot NULL.com/_ojyahdSAHtg/RpcEAAWiBLI/AAAAAAAAAAM/4kGEdGPon-8/s1600-h/0045 NULL.jpg)I said to a friend today when i get writer’s block or can’t think of what to write about, i write about not being able to write. its always loosens something up. shakes some sort of idea out of my head while ruminating on the absence of ideas.

Sine i’m starting with nothing, it somehow allows me to just make statements. things i wish were true about me or the world around me. Let’s explore this process.

I got nothing. Nothing. Nothing. A teacher once said to me “I think you’re afraid to look inside because you’re afraid nothing is there.” Of course this statement exploded my 19 or 20 year old head. Now i think its the opposite. I’m afraid to open up cuz i know its so much in there.

It seems to be the situation in New York. It can be very hard to stay sane and balanced with the overwhelming energy of this city. There’s a lot of tunnel vision going on around me. Especially when i feel like i’m trying to get people to care about coming to a live show. There’s so much to do here that there’s nothing to do here. People have to block out all the options. You have to have that tunnel. “No thanks…I Tivo’d Desperate Housewives.” Its very hard to get people to do something outside their own routine. So the days become the same.

What i love about new york is that its a city fll of people that mostly feel lonely. The biggest city in the most powerful country in the world and not a lot of people know each other. I’m always amazed at mysel in that respect. I try to keep contact with friends. But i get stressed about spending my free time doing something that i usually decide to just sit and stare or sleep. I live in the same city, in some cases the same neighborhood as people i care about, and still it take me months to return phone calls. Pitiful.

Its one of the only citys where friendships start to become burdens. That attitude of “aw man I really need to call so and so but i’m afraid they’ll be angry with me because of my lack of contact so i’ll put it off until later.” On and on until connection is lost.

SIDETRACKED
Just heard one of my favorite bands’ music in a Reese’s commercial.
Chromeo “Needy Girl”
Part of me feels like the song has been cheapened since its in a commercial. The other part is happy that they’re getting some money so they can keep doing music and touring. I’ve been in commercials myself, who am I to judge?

So much

Thursday, July 5th, 2007

has happened since i last posted.

break ups. iPhone. world gone to shit. oh wait, that was already happening.

I sit now in an apartment owned by Zanies Comedy Club in Chicago. A club i’ve never played in a city I’ve never been to.

I am EXCITED. and a little nervous. I’ve done an hour before plenty of times, but that was to college students. This’ll be a mix of people. I’ve performed for a mix of people plenty of times. But not for an hour.

can you see what i’m doing? I’m looking for a reason to be nervous. i don’t need it. i’ll be fine.

so the iPhone. i saw two of them. one in a box belonging to Trevor Moore of the whitest kids. I made a big deal about it and made a show of disgust much to the dismay and delight of Timmy Williams (i wrote their names in cuz i KNOW they google themselves).

the iPhone is just another brick to help me build my conspiracy theories about Jobs. i don’t know. Both times i held it i felt the urge to own it and to do damage to toddlers. if you want karate chop toddlers in the head, then yes, by all means, go get an iPhone.

with all the iProducts out of the market that people just “have to have” i’m waiting for that moment when Jobs pushes that button and everyone that owns one is held slave to Kajagoogoo on loop.

They shall build monuments to him.

They shall wake up one day in excruciating pain and look down to see themselves birth a giant metal spike covered in furr.

The rest? Well let’s hope there is no more.